I feel tired of late.
Tired of everything that has been going on around me. Tired of socializing and pretending to look vaguely interested in other people's conversation. Tired of trying to keep up. Tired of working on wedding stuff. Tired of thinking about wedding stuff. Tired of trying to save money. Tired of feeling inadequate. Tired of always feeling incompetent. Tired of figuring out what I want from life.
I keep saying/thinking that I want to live. Really live. But it is so hard for me to let go of my fears and worries. I look at other people and I wonder how they do it. How is it that they can afford to travel every few months? How is it that they can buy name-brand things every few months? How is it that they can go out every weekend? How is it that they can just be/look so worry-free?
And how is it that I just can't do it?